Do you ever look at a custom or a common practice and just ask why? I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about why I make the choices I do and why the things I’ve done may or may not be a good idea. I’ve been wondering whose idea it was and why I let whatever it is influence my choices.
The Husband and I were talking about what we should plant in the yard in the spring. We each listed off 5 or 6 things we’d like for fruit and vegetables: tomatoes, cucumbers, watermelon, squash, peas, green beans, garlic, eggplant, spinach, lettuce and peanuts. After realizing how much space these plants would take The Husband said we’d have to scale back our plans. I asked why? If we’d rather grow watermelon and squash instead of grass we can. It’s something he hadn’t considered. Will we till under all the grass? Probably not but it does make me wonder why the standard of neighborhood beauty is heavily manicured green grass and not an abundant vegetable garden.
Before The Husband and I got married we hashed out a lot of issues we’d face in married life. We were required to take a class in order to get married in the church so it wasn’t an organic conversation but it did open our eyes to the different views we had. It was an opportunity to point out non negotiables and to negotiate issues we were flexible on. But whose ideas were placed in that class? Were our choices really our own or were we influenced? Overall it’s worked pretty well for us and not all of our choices were mainstream. But I wonder what would be different if we had reached our decisions without a guided conversation.
Back when I first discovered the online knitting community, before Ravelry was even a vague thought, I was so impressed. My first discovery was blogs. My second discovery was the KnitList. I was lured in by the gorgeous yarn and beautiful projects. It amazed me at the time to see so many people who loved the same craft as me. Looking back from where I sit now I don’t view that all the same way as I did. As much as I loved seeing all the beautiful projects in gorgeous yarn perfectly photographed on carefully curated blogs, it made me feel bad about my knitting and my less than perfect life. I’m a real person with plenty of faults. I had to make the conscious effort to be honest on my blog. I shared the good, bad and failed. I still do.
Do you ever wonder the why of what you choose to do and worry about those that influence those choices? I see so many people both online and in real life who feel disappointed in themselves. They measure themselves harshly. They feel like they aren‘t meeting some standard. But I ask who set that standard and why should you be meeting it?