Shower Thoughts

I’ve been thoroughly exhausted crawling into bed at night. I shouldn’t mention it. I shouldn’t even acknowledge that it’s happening. But I’m falling asleep and sleeping all night without that pesky insomnia waking me at 1 or 2AM and keeping me up for hours. I’ve even been sleeping after The Husband and Myles get up. This really puts a crimp in my thinking about things.

During the day there are so many people and things that act as distraction. I don’t have time to be alone with my thoughts. I’ve taken to using shower time for thinking.

These are my thoughts. Yours are likely different and uniquely yours. I am allowed my opinions just as you are allowed yours. We are all different and that is what makes the world a wonderful and scary place.

I’ve always thought of my lifetime as a unit of 100 years. Will I live to 100? Probably not though I do have relatives on both sides of my family who lived into their 90’s. My immediate relatives did not. Looking at that as a block of a lifetime I’m just getting beyond middle age.

I have viewed my life path as an opportunity to make choices and learn lessons. Choices aren’t right or wrong. They are just diverging paths from the options life gives you. A natural question to ask right here is would I have changed any of those choices knowing what I know now? The answer is of course not. Well, none of the big ones anyway. Changing just one of those choices would have changed all the later choices and I would not have ended up being who I am and where I am.

I want to talk about a couple of the life lessons I’m happy with and one I really need to learn from.

When The Husband and I were in the getting to know you phase of our relationship and during the prewedding phase we spent time talking about what our future looked like. Did the plans/goals/paths mesh? Would we be able to create a life that fulfilled both of us? Of course we were stupid young adults and didn’t know that that was what we were doing. We thought we were negotiating wants and needs. Those things that couldn’t be changed or things we couldn’t live without.

We agreed that he would earn the money and I would manage it. I would take care of the home and children. This worked well for our perceived future: him a military officer deploying at a moments notice (think Superman in a flight suit), me keeping the home fires burning. This was not a standard 1980’s choice for a college educated woman. But it was ours.

Over the years The Husband continued to be the wage earner and I the money manager. He has had two careers. We have raised two children. We have been lucky enough to have the ability to care for our parents as they aged and died. We chose to put the people we care about before our wants. Not all of them. I have a lifetime supply of yarn stashed away. Well, maybe not quite a lifetime if I’m just beyond middle age. The Husband has been fortunate enough to retire young enough to enjoy it. We have enough income to live on without changing our lifestyle much.

Life lesson #1: People, particularly those you love, are the most important thing. Literally everything else comes second. Once that is understood it’s much easier to learn the other lessons. And make decisions.

During The Husband’s careers he did deploy and while it wasn’t at a moment’s notice it was often at the most difficult times. We made it work. Separations were hard. Be it 24 hours, 2 weeks or 7 months. We made it work. Be it Virginia, Germany or Diego Garcia. We made it work.

At one point The Husband was unemployed for 6 months. We were without a home of our own, with all our belongings in storage. We lived with family. We made it work. All the while adjusting the view of what our future looked like. In the middle of our plan the outside world blocked our path. We had to find a way to get on the path we wanted when it was blocked. We had to pick a new path. Man that sucked. Everything about that sucked. But, you guessed it, we made that work too.

Life Lesson #2: Maybe where you’re going isn’t where you need to be. Reassessment can be a good thing. Make it work.

I’ve always had a trust problem. I’m a trust then verify person. I should be a trust but verify person. I tend to believe people when they tell me who they are. I should be a believe people when they show you who they are.

The differences are subtle but huge. Wicked huge. So are the results.

I have found up to this point that when I’ve ignored my gut instinct I am let down and regret the decision I’ve made. Decisions have to be deliberate and measured. Many can’t be undone.

Life lesson in the form of regret#1: Consider both results when making a decision that your gut is trying to help you with. Follow the trust but verify and believe people when they show you who they are rules.

So this is where my thoughts brought me in the shower this week. I’ve strung them together in a not completely transparent way. I’ve had more thoughts but I’ll save those for another day.

Have you had deep thoughts lately? Do you have life lessons to share? Let’s chat in the comments.

About nothingbutknit2

I'm a wife, mother and knitter. Watch out for my pointy sticks.
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11 Responses to Shower Thoughts

  1. Kellie says:

    I am similar right now with sleep patterns, hoping it is just the busyness of life. Love your lesson on trust, I am trying to listen to my gut more 👍

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can not thank you enough for not ending up making political statements!!! I really liked your last post – until it turned political. I don’t want to miss comments like these, but it’s hard to stick around when your far right echo chamber clashes with what I feel is right, especially when I have to spend so much energy fact checking. Knitting, on the other hand – I may not like to do the same kind of projects you do, but I am always interested, and sometimes inspired. So I’m continuing to follow –

    Liked by 1 person

    • Would you like a trigger warning at the top of my posts with political content? Should I be concerned that I might offend far left liberals? Do I not have the right of free speech?
      I am not far right. I am right. I believe that not all “facts” the mainstream media pushes are actual facts. That does not make me extreme. It makes me skeptical. Do I agree with the way the country is being governed at the moment? No. The border shouldn’t be wide open during a pandemic. Do I think all people (particularly children) should be required to take an experimental (not FDA approved only EUA) “vaccine”? No. Not until the side effects (1200+ cases of myocarditis in young men is concerning) are looked into and more is know about why this is happening.
      I’m glad you enjoy my knitting. If you are bothered by other content I’m sorry but it is my choice what to write as it is your choice to read it or comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. RebSef says:

    I think I am the opposite. Not sleeping well at the moment. I am a verify then trust person. I am also a shower thoughts person, or a stuck in the traffic thoughts person.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. kathyreeves says:

    My thinking often happens when I walk, sometimes it is serious and sometimes possible novels jump through my brain. I have always wanted to be a deeper thinker, like my husband, but ai have learned over the years, I am more of an idea generator and a connector. I appreciate how you think things through, and how those posts cause me to think more deeply on a subject. I confess, I’ve never been a news hound, so your posts prod me to check out what’s going on, just like my husband does!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was always too busy to follow news the way it should be followed. Kids took up my energy and then aging parents. Now that I have the time I enjoy seeing different points of view and have realized that the facts fall somewhere between what each side reports.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Lately I’ve been thinking too deeply and too long about a lot of things. Politics, family, and dogs seem to take up most of my time. And Excel – because this course is a bear!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. chrisknits says:

    I think deep thoughts but oft times they just upset me, so I try to back off and just think good thoughts. Right now a lot of the thoughts are about where our family is going with a new baby and a wedding next year, and both kids moving to new homes in the near future. So scattered is the best word to describe it. LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

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