Last week Bonny talked about being who you are and letting the real you shine through in an honest way. Well, I haven’t been keeping it real here. I’ve taken some time to reread some of what I’ve posted lately and some of what I posted ages ago. As self absorbed as it sounds, I like reading what I wrote ages ago. My blog is my journal and when I read it I am taken back to a time, a place or an event and it brings it right back to me as if it was yesterday. I love my blog for that. Lately I’ve been holding back, a lot really.
This last year and a half has sucked. There is no other word for it. Grieving is miserable. It’s a heavy weigh to carry around all day and it makes you tired. It has also made me impatient, short tempered and even at times angry. It’s like riding a rollercoaster in the dark, you know it’s moving and you expect that but suddenly you plunge and you’re taken by surprise. Add that to all the other stuff that comes along for the ride like the never ending relationship I now seem to have with a lawyer who doesn’t answer email for days and days and days, an accountant (who knew there would be so many tax returns) and an unhelpful confused probate court, see angry above. So while I’ve seemed calm, cool and collected posting about knitting most of the time and a tiny bit of baking, the real me has been quiet but I think it’s time to let her out now and then. Watch out.