Keepin’ It Real

Last week Bonny talked about being who you are and letting the real you shine through in an honest way. Well, I haven’t been keeping it real here. I’ve taken some time to reread some of what I’ve posted lately and some of what I posted ages ago. As self absorbed as it sounds, I like reading what I wrote ages ago. My blog is my journal and when I read it I am taken back to a time, a place or an event and it brings it right back to me as if it was yesterday. I love my blog for that. Lately I’ve been holding back, a lot really.

This last year and a half has sucked. There is no other word for it. Grieving is miserable. It’s a heavy weigh to carry around all day and it makes you tired. It has also made me impatient, short tempered and even at times angry. It’s like riding a rollercoaster in the dark, you know it’s moving and you expect that but suddenly you plunge and you’re taken by surprise. Add  that to all the other stuff that comes along for the ride like the never ending relationship I now seem to have with a lawyer who doesn’t answer email for days and days and days, an accountant (who knew there would be so many tax returns) and an unhelpful confused probate court, see angry above. So while I’ve seemed calm, cool and collected posting about knitting most of the time and a tiny bit of baking, the real me has been quiet but I think it’s time to let her out now and then. Watch out.

About nothingbutknit2

I'm a wife, mother and knitter. Watch out for my pointy sticks.
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5 Responses to Keepin’ It Real

  1. YarnyDragonfly says:

    It seems especially cruel that on top of dealing with all that grief, you have to deal with ongoing issues with lawyers, accountants and the probate court (who I’m sure are less than compassionate and could care less about how long the process is taking). Losing a parent is very traumatic, but losing BOTH parents AND a parent-in-law within a year is a very heavy weight to bear. I’m surprised you are still standing and functioning. So, yes, let it all out when you need to, we are here for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bonnyknits says:

    I’m glad I could nudge you to share a bit of your load! I hope it felt good to be honest about the struggle; I know it always does for me. But I am sorry that your struggling. Grief is so very hard. All I can say is that, for me, it did eventually get manageable. It’s been over four years since my dad died and the pain hasn’t left, but I feel more able to live a happy life. I wish that for you. And I wish you much luck in dealing with all the crappy legal stuff! Big hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey, chick, don’t bottle it all up. I’m sorry all the side issues are making things even worse xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. chrisknits says:

    That’s one of the issues I have with a lot of blogs I used to read. They always felt “fake” or not really true to themselves. You have never been that way, but I could tell you were keeping a door sealed off. I am glad you are planning to open the door, don’t hold back or worry about what you post, you are the keeper of this blog, do what’s right for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Kim Hood says:

    So sorry that life has been so hard of late. I truly hope it improves soon – just getting people to do their jobs efficiently would help. Things will get better. Honest.


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