Nurture

I remember way back when we had decided to adopt a child I was talking to a friend about nature vs. nurture. She said she really thought so much was nature and I disagreed and said I thought that more was nurture. Again last week the topic came up, with different people. I was just listening in on a conversation at one of N’s after school activities (if you’re going to talk loudly in the same room I’m going to listen). They were talking about how so much of their children’s personality, attitude and difficulties are nature, just born right into them. I didn’t speak up but looking at the kids they were discussing and seeing the behaviors they were talking about I thought they were so much like the mothers that an argument could easily be made for nurture. Daily things influence children so much more than what people think. Take Saturday night as an example. The Husband and I took N out to dinner. He eats out pretty regularly but now he has this new thing that he asks. When the waitress brought his meal, he had dessert since he’d had a very late lunch and we were eating out pretty early, he asked me to take a photo of it for the blog. Yeah, you can’t tell me that one’s nature.

 

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About nothingbutknit2

I'm a wife, mother and knitter. Watch out for my pointy sticks.
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7 Responses to Nurture

  1. Marilyn says:

    Another beautiful picture of something sweet…you’re killing me here! Maybe I’ll have ice cream for breakfast… 😉
    This will be a bit long…There was a dad that was hurt and developed a limp and an odd way of standing. As his son grew up he developed the same limp and way of standing…not because he was hurt but because he loved his dad and wanted to be the same as him. Either consciously or unconsciously. I say that’s nurture not nature.

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  2. YarnyDragonfly says:

    I wasn’t sure if you meant that it was nurture that he ordered a dessert for dinner, or that he asked you to take a picture for the blog (??). 🙂
    P.S. I’m always hungry after I read your blog….

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  3. Renee Anne says:

    Ah, the classic psychological argument.

    Anyone with any sort of rudimentary background in psychology knows that both play a part.

    Little Man is fairly laid back, like daddy, but will throw an epic tantrum when he wants something RIGHTNOW. On the other hand, he knows to say, “cheese” when the camera comes out and will pick up a camera to take his own photos…

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  4. Susan says:

    I think it’s a bit of both. I don’t think that you can deny that the people who nurture (or fail to nurture) a child make a big difference in the child, but I also believe that there are innate things in children that are attributable to nature. Otherwise, all the children in a family would be the same. I think our job as parents is to try to encourage and bring out the best in each of our children, whether by nurturing them or enhancing their natures.

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  5. Pumpkin says:

    That dessert looks so yummy. The brain is such a powerful thing that people definitely underestimate. Children get particularly creative. My sister used to try to get out of eating dinner and then get dessert with the argument that her stomach is divided up into sections and that her “food tank” was full and her “sweet tank” was empty. The first time she made that argument my parents were so impressed that they gave in and got her dessert.

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  6. Michelle says:

    I’m more on your side of the fence. Sure, there are some things inherent within us all, but I think our environment greatly determines the way those things are expressed.

    Oh, and N was right about taking a photo of that dessert. It’s totally blog worthy!

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  7. Kepanie says:

    Interesting thoughts. I think both have an integral part and are entwined.

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